Real Skill Development
Chew on this:
If you’re ‘practicing your pickup’ on store employees, are you really making any improvement to how you approach and talk to women?
The reality is NO.
If you think that chatting up an employee, someone that is paid to be nice to you in order to get a sale, then you’ll also think that hiring a hooker amounts to scoring with your dates.
You might think that by behaving like a “customer” you’ll have an inside track to getting the responses you want when in reality you’re playing the sales clerk’s game…. and if they outfox you, you’re buying something.
If not, then just whose time were you wasting?
Right, yours.
So, move out of “testing your stuff” on sales clerks and start in the real world.
And if you need some help with the real world pickup, then you’ve got to start here.
The Shocking Truth About Nice Guys And Attracting A Woman
One of the most MASSIVE realizations I had when it came to women was that a lot of things are not what they appear to be.
So, for example, have you ever heard how “nice guys” don’t attract any women?
Maybe you’ve even wondered why things didn’t work when you treated women “very nicely”.
This kind of thing happens to MILLIONS of men, so you are not alone.
However, the problem is that the answer is NOT to become jerks or to try to act like pick up artists or players. If this actually worked, the problem would have been solved for all men a long time ago.
There is a reason why both being a “nice guy” and being an arrogant or cocky guy or being a player BOTH don’t work. It’s because the best kind of women are attracted to STRENGTH of character.
In fact, even women who are messed UP are often ALSO attracted to strength of character as well!
Now, when a man takes on the act of being a player or being arrogant or being a really slick pick up artist, he is actually conveying MASSIVE insecurity.
A woman who is already confident, can smell this insecurity from far away. She knows that a man who is secure would not need to OVERDO things so much.
So we already know that the pick up artist stuff doesn’t work to get a great woman, and in fact repels her.
So why does the “nice guy” stuff not work either? Well, the reason is because the truth is that “nice guys” actually are NOT that nice, as I will show you:
“Nice guys” are very MEAN to ONE person. In fact, they are mean to one person VERY CLOSE to them, the closest in fact: THEMSELVES.
So, for example, a man who keeps on calling a woman who does not return his calls, or a man who even spends too much time THINKING about a woman who is not giving him HALF the amount of energy that he is putting into chasing her, well this man is very MEAN actually.
He is MEAN to himself. He is basically telling himself and saying that he is NOT WORTH treating any BETTER than this.
Have you ever had a woman that you chased really HARD, and that you thought was somehow a SPECIAL person for some reason?
Usually, there IS no reason, we just FEEL that there is, but these feelings are the result of BAD CONDITIONING.
They can be overcome.
Women ARE attracted to strength of character, AND to goodness, but there is nothing strong and nothing GOOD about being a guy who allows himself to be abused, and even if he just doesn’t respect himself enough.
This is why I have decided to use the term “REINVENTING THE GOOD GUY” so that we stop thinking of GOOD as being something “nice” or weak, because in reality GOODNESS is the result of STRENGTH, and it’s NEVER self-abusive or self-hurting.
So the RIGHT way to be thinking about being CONFIDENT and CHARISMATIC is not to come to it from a “I AM THE BOSS OVER A WOMAN” angle but rather from true goodness, starting with being good to yourself.
And NOT from having to boss around a woman. In fact, the whole “I have to CONTROL a woman” through games, pick up artist tactics, or anything else always ends up showing up to a woman as insecurity and fear and looks very much like “wuss” behavior to her.
A woman can detect these fears and thoughts from the way you behave, in the same way you can often tell what your best friend is thinking or feeling before they even tell you, simply because you can tell and read his or her body language.
Well, women are good at reading body language because even as children they spend more time developing these skills whereas boys develop other skills better. So it’s really a waste of time to try to fake it with a woman, it’s far better to actually DEVELOP the right behaviors, and perspectives- this way a woman KNOWS you are for real.
So, make sure to first have a firm belief in your OWN value, not out of arrogance, but out of being your own best FRIEND. A woman, on an subconscious level, wants to see some PROOF that you are valuable, and if YOU don’t value yourself, how can she feel you have value?
Not only that, but if you believe that good people have value, if you REALLY believe that, then why would you ever allow yourself to chase after a woman who didn’t show any particularly great characteristics of her own?
When you stop obsessing with the superficial for REAL, you really DO show that you value character, and now two things happen- you suddenly find that more women are attracted to you, (because you are proving that there are other things of value besides the superficial and that you are one of those valuable people ) and you also find that you really ARE less obsessed now with the superficial- because actions become emotions, and your new lifestyle has given you new perspectives and new appreciation for the bigger picture.
Don’t get me wrong, of course you will want and you SHOULD want physical attraction in a woman, but you will be in the right balance to truly be a cool guy with all women. A MAN, not a boy playing “pick up artist”.
So the best combination is to be a GOOD guy with women, but also to be a good guy to YOURSELF and never, EVER do anything below your dignity to try to earn a woman’s approval – besides, chasing after her in itself is what will destroy her attraction to you. It’s like you are saying “I don’t feel I have value, but could YOU please treat me really well out of PITY?”
And this is EXACTLY the kind of reaction that is generated in a woman for a guy who is not truly good, but is just “nice” in a weak sense- she might feel PITY for him, but not ATTRACTION.
And you of course also end up ruining your own “inner game” this way because your actions are telling your brain that you are pathetic.
Now, I’d like to share a letter with you to show just how powerful this stuff is, to the point that you often don’t even have to DO anything because you are giving off all the millions of subtle signals through your demeanor and values and beliefs.
The Biggest Secret On Attracting A Quality Woman
In a world of ENDLESS lies about how to actually meet, attract, and keep the woman of your dreams, it’s of MASSIVE importance to me that I state to you the truth.
This is especially important when supposed “experts” on women are actually distorting the truth and DESTROYING guys’ futures with women.
One of the most destructive things ever taught by supposed “dating gurus” and pick up artists is the whole notion of “tactics to steal a woman from her boyfriend”.
Now, the reality is that this kind of thing may ALREADY be something you abhor, just like me, and find disgusting, but the fact is that if you even BELIEVE it’s true, it’s damaging as well, even if you personally would never engage in such an activity.
There are tons of pick up artists and dating gurus who feed off of FEAR and try to teach guys that they can learn how to “steal” some guy’s girlfriend etc. This type of thing is damaging, because it implies several things:
First, it makes it seem like women have no brains. As if women cannot possibly stick with a guy unless she happens to never encounter some sleaze bag who has learned the “magic” tactics of stealing her.
And accepting the notion that women cannot be faithful turns women into creatures that you can’t trust. Therefore, they must be CONTROLLED.
And THIS type of attitude is what actually creates the FEAR that makes guys act WEIRD, and jealous, and start accusing her of things she didn’t really do, and starts making you act controlling around women, and **THAT** is what makes a great woman want to LEAVE a guy, all on her OWN- no “special girlfriend stealing tactics” required from any other guy.
Isn’t that HORRIFYING?
That the very guys pretending to HELP you are actually the guys DESTROYING your future with a great woman??????????????????
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that all women are made from sugar and spice and that ALL women are great and perfect and loyal- there are ALL KINDS of women, and THIS is why I teach men how to TEST women to see what THE WOMAN’S character is like.
Forget the whole “women testing men” thing, once a woman sees that YOU have your character at super high levels and that you are making sure that SHE must have high character to be in YOUR world, this is ATTRACTIVE TO HER, because it lets her know that you are FOR REAL.
Ever notice how the “pick up artists” and supposed dating gurus never tell you much about inspecting HER character?????
It’s all about how to pretend that YOU are someone else, how to come up with lines, acts, routines, and how to even PRETEND that you are making a connection with her—all because these gurus are not TRULY committed or concerned with having a quality future with a woman, or maybe these gurus are just ignorant as hell, either way not the types of folks you want to trust your future with when it comes to women.
The reality is that you don’t want to be doubling, tripling, or QUADRUPLING the amount of women you date- you want to be finding the RIGHT woman. Quality is the key, not quantity.
And the truth is, there ARE great women out there, and it’s NOT HARD to get these women, but you have to be on the RIGHT “WAVELENGTH” to attract them. The pick up artist stuff and supposed dating guru stuff out there will put you on the OPPOSITE frequency, so that you don’t meet any women, or worse that you meet the wrong women.
So what SHOULD a guy do to attract a great woman and make sure she doesn’t cheat on him?
Well, for one thing, don’t give her a REASON to feel you are sketchy shady or untrustworthy.
AND of course, CHOOSE wisely, perhaps the woman at the club who is drunk is not the right woman.
The other thing to learn so that you can make sure a woman stays faithful is to learn how to control your emotions so that you don’t fall prey to the horrific actions we do when feeling insecure or threatened.
So, for example, let’s say you are feeling jealousy, or let’s say you are feeling anxiety, and this feeling is making you want to either NOT approach a woman, or if it’s a woman you already know, the feeling is making you want to accuse her of something that you don’t really have evidence for.
Well, the SOLUTION is to learn to WEAKEN and OVERCOME the negative emotion.
The first thing MOST guys do when feeling a negative emotion is they ACT on it. This is because emotions FEEL like they are PROOF of something. We feel something, and then we tend to think that FEELING is a PROOF of something.
But it’s NOT.
The way to get OVER an emotion is to FOCUS on the actual fact that it is NOTHING but a SENSATION generated in YOUR body.
It’s does not necessarily reflect ANYTHING about the world outside of you, including the woman in front of you.
So, when feeling for example the emotion of anxiety, the first thing to do is to CHANGE the LABEL, the actual WORD from your mind. By calling something “anxiety” we give it a specific MEANING, i.e. “there’s something genuine to feel anxious about”.
Instead, focus on the actual SENSATION and describe THAT- and this description will replace the word “anxiety”.
So, for example, you might say that what you are FEELING is “heart beating faster”, and “muscles contracting in stomach”, and a feeling of HEAT in your chest, etc, etc, etc.
And the COOLEST thing about all this is that it’s actually FAR MORE ACCURATE than saying I feel “anxiety about women” or “jealousy” or whatever, because the reality is that you DON’T feel those things, those things are OPTIONAL labels that you associated with these physical sensations over TIME.
Over the years, you conditioned yourself to BELIEVE the associations were “real” and “natural” and accurate, but they AREN’T.
Now, once you do this, you will start to see MASSIVE internal change. It will start to open up a whole new reality about women that you never saw before, never believed before.
THIS is the kind of thing that actually ENRICHES your personality and MAKES
you the kind of guy a great woman WANTS, and the type of guy a great woman would NEVER cheat on.
You see, a great woman wants a great guy, simple as that. Like attracts like. This kind of self-development puts you into that elite category of men.
And this is all just super LOW level detail here! In my book you will learn THE INSIDE IN DEPTH scoop on so much more, and that is NOT marketing hype- it’s the damn honest TRUTH. This is the tip of the iceberg here.
I was about to end this newsletter right here, but then something ELSE just came in- the news about the new upcoming US President, and I couldn’t help but see something VERY relevant that all men should learn when it comes to dating.
And by the way, let me make it clear that what I am about to say has NOTHING to do with personal beliefs about politics at all.
It’s just about the power of not hiding under a “mask”, i.e. about unleashing your full identity:
Obama was able to stand out as an INDIVIDUAL. Whether this was of his own design, or the result of brilliant strategists, the fact is he stood out as not only an individual, but also and individual who was not self-conscious.
Yet, he had a lot of things going against him as far as making him a typical candidate. Lack of experience. Not raised in America. Has a non-American parent. His race.
He could have psyched himself out and said, “A president has to be a so and so whose ancestors have been in this country for centuries. You have to have been a famous, high-profile politician for decades. I don’t look like your typical image of US president. I don’t have the life story of your typical US president. Nobody will go for me.”
BUT… the truth is, because HE made this a non-issue with his total self-confidence, it really became a non-issue, even an ASSET in many ways.
The point is that many guys look at themselves and their lives and they immediately DISQUALIFY THEMSELVES saying that they don’t fit the typical bill of a guy who is sought after by women.
It’s YOU who make it an issue, whatever it is (not the right job, right age, right looks, right background, etc.)
Another thing is that he never showed desperation. Even when his back was against the wall when various attacks came out. He stayed calm and put everyone at ease.
When you are feeling pressure, i.e. you want to approach a woman and some guys are watching you or some guy says some remark, or even if you meet some woman who is testing you to see if you are really a guy with integrity or not, you can tense up and fear rejection, or you can just play it off as a non-issue.
Another interesting observation is that McCain and Palin’s appearances on “Saturday Night Live” were self-mocking. When Obama was on, he did NOT agree to mock himself. The JOKE was that he was dressed as Obama for Halloween (wearing an Obama mask). In that skit, it was Bill and Hillary who were the butt of the joke. Obama played it straight and boring and most importantly conveyed a message that he just wants to BE HIMSELF.
In other words, HE didn’t need to wear a MASK, figuratively OR literally, unlike all the guests around him who were all dressed up in outrageous crazy COSTUMES, trying to “fit in” with what was “cool”.
So forget politics, because I hate politics. But as a study of human achievement I have to give it to him that he took self-confidence and self-respect to a whole new level.
It sounds like it should be simple, but in reality it’s NOT. The proof is how RARELY we see it actually happen in real life, in any area, including how rarely men actually GET the kind of QUALITY woman they really want.
And I assure you, the better the woman is, the MORE she is attracted to this true level of internal development, it’s instinctive. This level of attraction is REAL, this is not marketing nonsense and silly games promoted by the “how to SCORE with women” types.
The FANTASTIC NEWS though is that you can LEARN how to truly develop yourself on a deep level so that you can easily GET the kind of quality woman you want.
It’s all up to you!
Cheers,
Bobby
7 Lies The Pickup Artists Tell You
Allow me to share with you SEVEN LIES spread by those who call themselves “pick-up artists”- these lies will DESTROY your potential with any quality woman:
LIE NUMBER 1:
“IF A WOMAN SEES YOU AS RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE MATERIAL, THEN YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED A PROVIDER, A BETA MALE, AN “INFERIOR TYPE OF MALE” THAT IS ONLY GOOD FOR PROVIDING MONEY FOR HER.
Much better to be seen as the male who would NEVER settle down, who is “hard to get”, who is a slick and COCKY “player” type – THAT is what triggers ATTRACTION.”
And this my friends is a TOTAL LIE. A lie that has DESTROYED the future that millions of men could have had with the women they have met so far.
The truth is that you will only be considered a “BETA” male if you SEE YOURSELF AS A “BETA” MALE.
If your self-concept is BETA, then I assure you that you will be taken as a BETA male even if you have a huge SIGN on your forehead that says “WILL NEVER MARRY” or says “WILL NEVER SETTLE DOWN”.
If YOU think that you are SETTLING for someone, if YOU think that you are only in a relationship because you can’t get better, if YOU think that you are marrying someone because YOU have to, etc etc, THEN you are a beta male.
But when you LOVE someone and they LOVE you back and you both WANT to take something to a HIGHER level, then if you DON’T do it because some moronic “dating guru” or “pick up artist” told you not to, and you listen to THAT advice, then and only THEN would you be a “beta” male.
Giving in to PRESSURE FROM AN EXTERNAL source is what makes one WEAK and BETA. And THAT is what makes a woman feel REPULSED from a man and feel ZERO attraction for him and not want to spend the NIGHT or even one MINUTE with him, never mind her LIFE.
The irony again is that it’s the pick up artist advice that makes you weak and THAT is the kind of thing that attracts the very WORST kind of women, who will like to TAKE ADVANTAGE of that weakness and see what they can take out of you.
And then we wonder why the pick up artists tell you to WATCH OUT FOR GOLDDIGGERS!!!
And “Watch out for women – they are UNFAITHFUL!”
Their advice creates weakness, which attracts the vulture type women rather than the VIRTUOUS ones. A great woman will simply leave you alone and not be interested, but a horrific woman will GRAVITATE toward the weak men- and pick up artist advice actually makes you WEAK.
LIE NUMBER 2:
“TO GET RESPECT FROM A WOMAN, YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE TO LEARN X, Y, OR Z TACTIC”
This is another MASSIVE lie.
To get RESPECT from a woman, you must first respect YOURSELF.
Don’t EVER do anything that you feel is beneath your dignity, and you will get RESPECT from a woman.
The IRONY is that the things the pick up artists tell you to do actually strip you of your dignity because THEY worship women simply for a woman’s looks- the OBSESSION with having to get QUANTITY rather than quality, the obsession with having to FAKE YOUR IDENTITY with all kinds of absurd tactics actually makes you ASHAMED of who you are, rather than LEARNING HOW TO TAKE PRIDE IN WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s INSANE!
And I will STOP this insanity.
Women want a man who has DIGNITY and will not SELL his dignity for ANYTHING.
LIE NUMBER 3:
“IF YOU DON’T WANT TO GET INTO THE FRIENDS ZONE, YOU BETTER MAKE SURE TO GET HER INTO BED REALLY FAST!”
The reality is that this is NONSENSE.
A great woman is not NEEDY to get into bed with anyone, no matter WHO you are.
And if she DETECTS that you are trying to get her into bed QUICK, she will only feel LESS trust for you, and she will BACK OFF faster than you can blink.
Now, of course, if you are with a woman who sleeps around with tons of guys, it might be another issue.
I’m talking about a great girl, not the trash.
Oh by the way, I forgot to mention, the pick up artists NEVER give you a serious talk about things like STD’s.
NO, of course not.
It’s just like the movies, and it’s NOT REAL LIFE.
But in REAL life, you need to KNOW about this stuff. The REAL WORLD is not the DISNEY world of NO STDs that the pick up artists and “get all the girls” like you to BELIEVE it is.
They are BANKING on your IGNORANCE.
Why would you want to RUSH sleeping with a woman?
There are BILLIONS of women on this earth. More than you could ever sleep with.
Chill out and get to KNOW IF SHE IS WORTH spending time with.
The IRONY again is that you can’t lose this way, as even if you WERE the type of guy that didn’t care about quality, you could always get to know a lot of women this way and not rush, and THEN have a HUNDRED women at your fingertips if you so wanted. AND those women would be FAR MORE interested in you BECAUSE you truly were relaxed and not feeling needy to get them into bed- it makes THEM feel more relaxed and thus sexual with you as well!!!!!!!!!
LIE NUMBER 4:
“BEING GOOD TO A WOMAN IS FOR LOSERS WHILE ALL WOMEN SECRETLY FANTASIZE ABOUT BEING WITH AN ARROGANT AND COCKY PLAYER”
This lie really gets me, it’s so MASSIVELY UNTRUE, and yet it’s everywhere in the subtleties of the entire dating guru and pick up CULTURE that I would need to devote an entire BOOK to explain how HORRIFIC THIS ADVICE IS, and how totally false it is.
It’s not being GOOD to a woman that is not attractive, it’s when you are being EXTRA NICE to a woman who has done NOTHING to earn that treatment from you.
Do you do good things for your friends?
Do your friends to good things for you?
OF COURSE YOU DO.
And there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s COOL actually.
Same thing with a woman- if she’s good to you, then if you are NOT good to her, THEN you will be considered an INSECURE LOSER.
And guess what?
This is how quality women REALLY feel about players that are so scared to really be good to a woman and so scared to DROP the “masks” they wear in the form of fake memorized lines, and manipulative techniques to ATTEMPT to NEGATE her self-esteem. (notice the word ATTEMP in capitals, because it’s doesn’t work, A great woman will just ignore it or CHEW the guy up and spit him out for even trying)
LIE NUMBER 5:
“DON’T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING EMOTIONAL REGARDING HER OR YOU OR YOU WILL BE ABUSED OR SEEN AS A GIRLY-MAN”
The TRUTH is that if you NEVER talk to her about her things, stuff that she is going through, you will DUMPED fast and rightly so for not giving a rat’s ass about her.
The TRUTH is that this is only a problem if a woman is always talking about her problems to you and is not BALANCING that with also having FUN with you and is not willing and happy to listen to YOUR stuff too.
The key is BALANCE, and as a MAN, you should not be a cry-baby but you DEFINITELY are not considered weak for having emotions and for expressing them- this kind of bullshit lie that is expressed by “pick up” and dating gurus probably gives more men heart attacks from stress than anything else. If you can’t confide at all in the woman you are with, what the HELL is the point of being with her?
And if a woman feels she can’t ever confide in you about emotional stuff, she will simply GET THAT CONNECTION from someone ELSE.
And again, THIS is why these “experts” are always talking about cheating and unfaithful women–they surround themselves with drunken party girls and they put Playboy and Hugh Hefner on a pedestal, and THEN they wonder why they are getting less than CREAM OF THE CROP qualities in the women they meet!!!!
INSANE.
The truth is that the stuff that these guys “teach” you will PUSH AWAY the BEST kind of women and will attract the very WORST type of woman.
LIE NUMBER 6:
“YOU CAN MEASURE YOUR REAL SKILL IF YOU CAN MEET AND PICK UP A WOMAN IN A CLUB”
ANOTHER LIE.
The reality is that meeting a woman in a club is EASIER. Women in clubs tend to be slightly tipsy, and are READY to be approached. I can get any guy results in a club in 1 HOUR of training.
The REAL test of “skill” is approaching a great woman with high standards who is not drunk and who is not looking to just play around, who is looking for something meaningful, and CONNECT with such a woman on a DEEP level, and then to KEEP THIS UP so that three weeks later she is just as into you and three months later as well, etc etc.
So take it from me, you can enjoy clubs if you want to, and if you want practice TALKING to women, you’ll find a LOT of women in clubs, but if you are looking to meet a GREAT woman where you will have to also form a great connection, clubs are NOT THE PLACE to do it.
LIE NUMBER 7:
“ONLY TALK ABOUT POP CULTURE AND NOTHING ELSE DEEP. MAKE SURE TO NOT GET INTO ANYTHING DEEP WITH A WOMAN, ESPECIALLY IN A PICK-UP”
Another MASSIVE LIE.
The truth is, if you are looking to attract a SUPERFICIAL woman who is only interested in her nails and her own EGO, then YUP, make sure to NOT get into anything deep.
But if you want a GREAT woman, then it’s CRUCIAL to connect on a greater level!
She is in fact going to be LOOKING to see if you can do this. So for all you guys out there who have a lot of GREAT INTERESTS and who are intelligent, this is GREAT NEWS.
The key is to LAYER IN the playful vibes AS WELL, so that a woman can see that you have a RANGE of emotions that you can engage in with her, and not just be about one channel!
To achieve the MASTERY LEVEL with being able to meet, attract, and keep a great woman, I am reminded of something YODA told Luke Skywalker: “Unlearn, young one, unlearn”.
You see, the greatest masters have realized that the REAL key is not to learn HYPNOSIS or to learn LINES, or to learn TACTICS, but rather to UNLEARN. To get DE-hypnotized as opposed to hypnotized.
Underneath all the layers and layers of BAD PROGRAMMING you have received from all kinds of external sources, including the HORRIFIC advice from the supposed “experts” you have something PERFECTLY POWERFUL, something magnificently CHARISMATIC, something UNSTOPPABLE that will PULL IN A GREAT WOMAN with INFINITE EASE. There will be NO EFFORT required once you learn this.
Cheers,
Bobby
PS. If you would like to be one of the ELITE men who walks this EARTH who HAS this power and who GETS a great woman, rather than being one of the billions of men who spend their life in CONFUSION, then download the ebook IMMEDIATELY.
It’s called “Get A Great Girl: What The Dating Gurus Never Told You” and you can be reading it in MINUTES from now. Click here
