Michael Marks: About “Get A Great Girl” TV Interview
This interview featuring Michael Marks, author of “Get A Great Girl” was featured on a Toronto, Canada TV show.
The Shocking Truth About Nice Guys And Attracting A Woman
One of the most MASSIVE realizations I had when it came to women was that a lot of things are not what they appear to be.
So, for example, have you ever heard how “nice guys” don’t attract any women?
Maybe you’ve even wondered why things didn’t work when you treated women “very nicely”.
This kind of thing happens to MILLIONS of men, so you are not alone.
However, the problem is that the answer is NOT to become jerks or to try to act like pick up artists or players. If this actually worked, the problem would have been solved for all men a long time ago.
There is a reason why both being a “nice guy” and being an arrogant or cocky guy or being a player BOTH don’t work. It’s because the best kind of women are attracted to STRENGTH of character.
In fact, even women who are messed UP are often ALSO attracted to strength of character as well!
Now, when a man takes on the act of being a player or being arrogant or being a really slick pick up artist, he is actually conveying MASSIVE insecurity.
A woman who is already confident, can smell this insecurity from far away. She knows that a man who is secure would not need to OVERDO things so much.
So we already know that the pick up artist stuff doesn’t work to get a great woman, and in fact repels her.
So why does the “nice guy” stuff not work either? Well, the reason is because the truth is that “nice guys” actually are NOT that nice, as I will show you:
“Nice guys” are very MEAN to ONE person. In fact, they are mean to one person VERY CLOSE to them, the closest in fact: THEMSELVES.
So, for example, a man who keeps on calling a woman who does not return his calls, or a man who even spends too much time THINKING about a woman who is not giving him HALF the amount of energy that he is putting into chasing her, well this man is very MEAN actually.
He is MEAN to himself. He is basically telling himself and saying that he is NOT WORTH treating any BETTER than this.
Have you ever had a woman that you chased really HARD, and that you thought was somehow a SPECIAL person for some reason?
Usually, there IS no reason, we just FEEL that there is, but these feelings are the result of BAD CONDITIONING.
They can be overcome.
Women ARE attracted to strength of character, AND to goodness, but there is nothing strong and nothing GOOD about being a guy who allows himself to be abused, and even if he just doesn’t respect himself enough.
This is why I have decided to use the term “REINVENTING THE GOOD GUY” so that we stop thinking of GOOD as being something “nice” or weak, because in reality GOODNESS is the result of STRENGTH, and it’s NEVER self-abusive or self-hurting.
So the RIGHT way to be thinking about being CONFIDENT and CHARISMATIC is not to come to it from a “I AM THE BOSS OVER A WOMAN” angle but rather from true goodness, starting with being good to yourself.
And NOT from having to boss around a woman. In fact, the whole “I have to CONTROL a woman” through games, pick up artist tactics, or anything else always ends up showing up to a woman as insecurity and fear and looks very much like “wuss” behavior to her.
A woman can detect these fears and thoughts from the way you behave, in the same way you can often tell what your best friend is thinking or feeling before they even tell you, simply because you can tell and read his or her body language.
Well, women are good at reading body language because even as children they spend more time developing these skills whereas boys develop other skills better. So it’s really a waste of time to try to fake it with a woman, it’s far better to actually DEVELOP the right behaviors, and perspectives- this way a woman KNOWS you are for real.
So, make sure to first have a firm belief in your OWN value, not out of arrogance, but out of being your own best FRIEND. A woman, on an subconscious level, wants to see some PROOF that you are valuable, and if YOU don’t value yourself, how can she feel you have value?
Not only that, but if you believe that good people have value, if you REALLY believe that, then why would you ever allow yourself to chase after a woman who didn’t show any particularly great characteristics of her own?
When you stop obsessing with the superficial for REAL, you really DO show that you value character, and now two things happen- you suddenly find that more women are attracted to you, (because you are proving that there are other things of value besides the superficial and that you are one of those valuable people ) and you also find that you really ARE less obsessed now with the superficial- because actions become emotions, and your new lifestyle has given you new perspectives and new appreciation for the bigger picture.
Don’t get me wrong, of course you will want and you SHOULD want physical attraction in a woman, but you will be in the right balance to truly be a cool guy with all women. A MAN, not a boy playing “pick up artist”.
So the best combination is to be a GOOD guy with women, but also to be a good guy to YOURSELF and never, EVER do anything below your dignity to try to earn a woman’s approval – besides, chasing after her in itself is what will destroy her attraction to you. It’s like you are saying “I don’t feel I have value, but could YOU please treat me really well out of PITY?”
And this is EXACTLY the kind of reaction that is generated in a woman for a guy who is not truly good, but is just “nice” in a weak sense- she might feel PITY for him, but not ATTRACTION.
And you of course also end up ruining your own “inner game” this way because your actions are telling your brain that you are pathetic.
Now, I’d like to share a letter with you to show just how powerful this stuff is, to the point that you often don’t even have to DO anything because you are giving off all the millions of subtle signals through your demeanor and values and beliefs.
The Easiest Way To Attract Women
Guest article by Michael W. Author of the ebook “Get A Great Girl”
How would you like to learn to attract a quality woman using LESS energy, LESS effort, and less headaches?
Get ready to hear how a man has applied the Get A Great Girl materials and trainings!, lowering the energy level is doing wonders.
And you know what? It feels a hell of a lot more natural to be that way – I think I was just used to getting results with high energy, but like you very correctly said it feels more real to the girls when I am with ‘minimum energy’.
More importantly it feels better for me too.
Also this way, I notice that this way, I tend to make them giggle and laugh lightly throughout the conversation instead of making them go super intense laughter all out at the beginning, and this definitely sends out a stronger signal of my personality – especially when I do it with ‘minimal effort’.
It is definitely also good to know that I can always tap into the high energy part should I need it.
That said I have a lot to improve on. Especially making the process more efficient and truly finding out more about the girls’ personalities.
I will let you know of my progress and stories later on ( I’ve had 4 genuine interactions with girls who are very attractive over the past 24 hours – not all of them matched what I was looking for in a woman- but two of them I’d
definitely like to get to know more).
Thanks again Michael. It was an excellent bootcamp experience and it was great to spend time with someone who has similar perspectives to what I have about life in general. I will get back to you with any questions that may crop up later on.
In the mean time should you want a full detailed review, just let me know. I’d be more than happy to send a genuine and sincere review. Let me know. Feel free to use any excerpts from my this email should you find it to be useful. Hope all is well!
Sincerely,
Charles K.
Los Angeles, California
>>>MY REPLY<<<
Thank you first of all for the warm message.
Isn’t it AWESOME how actually LOWERING the energy is, in your own words, doing WONDERS?
High energy brings a lot of short term reactions, that often fizzle out by the time you ask for the number or by the time you call her.
But don’t all the “experts” tell us to be “he arrogant, cocky, hilarious guy”?
When a guy learns a tactic that gets a woman doing anything too MAJOR or too strong too fast, even something like laughing REALLY HARD right at the outset, it’s usually NOT a good thing.
The reason for this is because even though the woman might be laughing really hard at first, or feeling really mesmerized, she will then quickly feel that something is not CONGRUENT.
By the word “congruent” I mean “consistent”. Something is not matching up, something is not “right” about the situation.
And a woman would be right to be feeling this, since after all, it was NOT a natural interaction, the guy WAS trying too hard to get a reaction, the guy WAS using a “line”, the guy was NOT being himself.
And there’s no way out of the dangers of using the pick up artist and wannabe dating guru tactics. A woman has learned to be cautious, for good reason. The more serious she is about looking for a real man to be her lover, her boyfriend, for something long term and meaningful, the MORE alert she will be to any signs of something being shady or sketchy.
The key is to always use the MINIMUM ENERGY you need in an interaction in order to make sufficient impact to keep the conversation going.
You applied this extremely well, including that time you ended up having a twenty minute conversation with that girl in the bookstore during bootcamp! You were doing so well with her, even after getting her number she still wanted to keep on chatting with you!
For the guys reading this, I should explain that Charles was having a one-to-one conversation with a very pretty creature, and it was NOT “over the top”, he was NOT acting like a clown, he was NOT getting her laughing like crazy, he was NOT doing anything weird, he had truly ADVANCED “game” that is NOT a game- in fact, within a few minutes of his interaction, it looked as if he and this girl had known each other intimately for YEARS.
The smile on her face, the relaxed look she had in her body language toward him, leaning into him.
So what did Charles do to get all this happening?
Well for one thing, he had practiced learning how to tap into his natural sense of calm and his positive nature. He learned to avoid the dangers of “black and white” thinking- black and white thinking is what creates massive pressure on us when we try to approach a woman, and we think that success equals paradise and failure equals disaster or the destruction of our identity.
He learned exactly HOW to embrace his worst fears over and over again till he got desensitized to them and built up a resistance to this kind of pressure.
He didn’t try to get into “the zone” and instead he removed all emotional labels from things, realizing that things are simply what they are, which allows you to take away the negative power of just about any situation that can arise in interacting with a woman.
This way, you are on a level plane that is the real you, no need for you to have to get all pumped and get into some “zone” that really would exhaust you very quickly if that was the only way you used to get into state to attract a woman.
He didn’t try to be mr.pick up artist, rather the woman could tell that he was relaxed and upbeat and not trying to prove ANYTHING to her, all from the way he used his VOICE as I train men to do.
And this training is partially about learning but also partially about UNLEARNING all the things that hold you BACK from using your voice to reflect all these cool emotions inside you.
And he also had CONVICTION in the things he was saying, he was revealing himself so he was not acting and this belief and total conviction came across as very masculine, confident, and even calming.
I hate to quote the “dog whisperer” in how dogs can sense your energy and if you are feeling fear or not, but the truth is that all human beings, and especially women, can detect what emotional frequency you are on, subconsciously this always happens.
And the women could tell that Charles was only saying the things that he truly did believe in, and that he was calm about it in the way of true confidence that could not be broken down even if she did happen to disagree with him on some of his viewpoints.
And another thing, he paid SERIOUS ATTENTION to what the woman was saying. He listened to her responses, which gave him the perfect things to say back- they were all genuine comments based on what SHE had said.
Every single “pick up artist” and dating guru out there tells you “say this and she will say YES” which is a total crock of horsey-poo because there is no such thing as the perfect thing to say—rather you need to LISTEN to what a woman is saying to you, so you can respond WELL.
And you need to REALLY care. If you don’t, it won’t work. She’ll sense that.
Most human beings think they are listening, but the truth is that they are actually NOT listening well at all, in fact most people filter out just about everything they hear if it doesn’t agree with their own perspective, they filter it out so powerfully that they don’t even HEAR the words that don’t agree!
Maybe you’ve heard of the experiment where guys were told to watch a group of guys in black t-shirts passing a ball to each other, and while this happened, a gorrilla was actually walking in the background, but NO ONE noticed this because they were too busy watching the ball being passed.
Not only do we not see what we don’t expect to see, we also create “blind spots” in our LISTENING skills as well- we don’t HEAR what we don’t agree with and we don’t hear what we don’t recognize– so imagine how easy it is to not truly hear a woman’s words to you when those words are coming from a female perspective that is different!
Now, imagine how terrible the communication probably is between a man and a woman who don’t know each other at all and are meeting for the FIRST TIME!!!! And the guy is under stress too, from trying to be cool!!!
And then on top of that, the guy is being told by supposed “EXPERTS” not to listen to a woman but to be all “alpha” and not listen to her and be the boss and to instead just uselessly try to make some cheesy pick up lines work!!!!! All this instead of learning the skills of TRULY LISTENENING, and this is a skill, it is something that requires learning, it’s NOT as simple as people think at all.
And we are told by these “experts” that listening is for “WUSSES”!!!!
The truth is, it takes a REAL MAN to be secure enough to be able to TRULY give another person a chance at being heard, to truly let another person’s perspective to have a chance at being respected and honored before jumping to the conclusion that if it disagrees with our own, it must be a crappy perspective.
Is it any wonder that things are so tough for men when it comes to getting a great woman?
A great woman has her internal act together as well, she’s not just attractive on the outside- and I assure you that if she has her act together and her listening skills together, and she is secure enough to listen well to you, she will not stick with a man if he is too weak to listen properly because he is afraid that even HEARING another perspective will somehow threaten him.
I used to be the WORST at this. I HATED the idea of “communication” with women. I believed all the crazy stuff I was told by dating gurus. But the reality is, if we as men follow their “no communication” advice, we WILL STILL be communicating to women, but doing it BADLY- we will be communicating that we are insecure.
This is just the tip of the ICEBERG of the skills that I teach. And of course, this has nothing to do with being a “nice guy”- in fact, it’s IMPORTANT that you DO have conviction in what you say to a woman, and that you don’t just let your opinions get disrespected,but the key to showing this conviction is to state your opinion CALMLY and FOLLOW your convictions calmly, with quiet strength, not by acting all emotional about it.
If we really believe in something, the way to show a woman we are serious is to be CALM and consistent and CLEAR about it.
The more emotional we get, the more we are showing fear, and the truth is, if we REALLY believed something was the right thing and we were so clear on what to do, we WOULD be calm about it and not feel pressured or threatened by anyone else.
When communicating to a woman, you want to be totally under control. It’s not about controlling women, it truly is about controlling the self and learning to improve the self.
And that’s why it’s fantastic to hear you say that this “minimum energy” feels a “hell of a lot more natural to be that way”. It IS.
Once you develop these skills for real, then meeting and attracting the women of your choice feels like there is NO effort.
There is no more need to have to “get into the zone” because you ARE “the zone” always, it IS you. YOU become attractive, on the deepest level of who you ARE.
This way, because the conversation becomes very easy for you and easy to make it flow, you also end up making the women laugh throughout the conversation, since your brain is now freed up from having to spend tons of energy on all kinds of useless things like memorizing pick up lines or trying to be the boss or trying to apply some tactic that feels totally un-natural on every level.
So all that extra brainpower can now be applied to humor- think of it like a computer who has now had its processor freed up to do important work.
Of course, when you also learn the keys behind ALL humor, as I teach you, you are able to find the funny moments in things even easier!
And at the same time, you can be having a serious discussion and then something humorous comes up, and you both laugh naturally at it, breaking the tension in a great way,and also allowing you to now get back with her to building a powerful and serious connection, now that you had a short break from the serious convo so you both have energy to get “serious” again.
And because you are LISTENING and CARING at the highest level, you can contribute effective and meaningful feedback, which makes her interested in the conversation, and interested in YOU.
And the fact you had the guts to do this while every OTHER guy who talks to her uses cheesy tactics based on oversimplification, YOU are the one she wants, you are the guy who feels REAL, while the other guys are the ones that seem shady, and sketchy, and fake, and she wants to AVOID those guys like the plague.
And of course, there is a TIME for the higher- energy stuff. For example, in a crazy loud club or pub on a Saturday night or something like that when everyone is going crazy and most people are drunk —but even THERE, if you wanted to get the kind of women that are there, and you probably don’t want those kinds of women for the most part, even THERE the reality is that you only want to put in the MINIMUM “higher energy” that you need.
So you basically are matching the woman’s energy level always, and actually giving just a bit MORE energy at first, so this way you are the giver and not the person bringing the energy down.
But from there, you slowly bring the energy to a more calm zone.
Of course, there’s no way to do full justice to this topic in a newsletter, and there is so much more detail I would like to mention to give the FULL picture, but this should at least give some serious insight onto what actually WORKS.
You can start a conversation with many different types of comments, but you never want to start with something that shows lack of respect, vulgarity, or weakness. You can comment on anything in the situation, but what I like to do is find something that actually says something GOOD about her, that is GENUINE.
So if a woman is reading a book in the award winning literary section of the bookstore, you might start with “Nice to see that there are still people who read literature instead of watching MTV” and say this calmly, not in a big clown way.
Regarding creating a powerful connection, the key is to LISTEN TO HER RESPONSE so that you can MAKE HER FEEL GOOD in a genuine way. Congruency is key, as a woman will usually KNOW when you are faking. I get into all this in SUPER DETAIL in my materials and in my live training programs of course.
So, you want to be listening to something in her reply that either provides evidence of her good character, her intelligence, or something else positive about her, or at least something she says that you can comment on that will lead the conversation somewhere INTRIGUING AND MEANINGFUL. And this is a whole topic into itself for another time!
Cheers,
Michael (Author of the ebook “Get A Great Girl“
The Biggest Secret On Attracting A Quality Woman
In a world of ENDLESS lies about how to actually meet, attract, and keep the woman of your dreams, it’s of MASSIVE importance to me that I state to you the truth.
This is especially important when supposed “experts” on women are actually distorting the truth and DESTROYING guys’ futures with women.
One of the most destructive things ever taught by supposed “dating gurus” and pick up artists is the whole notion of “tactics to steal a woman from her boyfriend”.
Now, the reality is that this kind of thing may ALREADY be something you abhor, just like me, and find disgusting, but the fact is that if you even BELIEVE it’s true, it’s damaging as well, even if you personally would never engage in such an activity.
There are tons of pick up artists and dating gurus who feed off of FEAR and try to teach guys that they can learn how to “steal” some guy’s girlfriend etc. This type of thing is damaging, because it implies several things:
First, it makes it seem like women have no brains. As if women cannot possibly stick with a guy unless she happens to never encounter some sleaze bag who has learned the “magic” tactics of stealing her.
And accepting the notion that women cannot be faithful turns women into creatures that you can’t trust. Therefore, they must be CONTROLLED.
And THIS type of attitude is what actually creates the FEAR that makes guys act WEIRD, and jealous, and start accusing her of things she didn’t really do, and starts making you act controlling around women, and **THAT** is what makes a great woman want to LEAVE a guy, all on her OWN- no “special girlfriend stealing tactics” required from any other guy.
Isn’t that HORRIFYING?
That the very guys pretending to HELP you are actually the guys DESTROYING your future with a great woman??????????????????
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that all women are made from sugar and spice and that ALL women are great and perfect and loyal- there are ALL KINDS of women, and THIS is why I teach men how to TEST women to see what THE WOMAN’S character is like.
Forget the whole “women testing men” thing, once a woman sees that YOU have your character at super high levels and that you are making sure that SHE must have high character to be in YOUR world, this is ATTRACTIVE TO HER, because it lets her know that you are FOR REAL.
Ever notice how the “pick up artists” and supposed dating gurus never tell you much about inspecting HER character?????
It’s all about how to pretend that YOU are someone else, how to come up with lines, acts, routines, and how to even PRETEND that you are making a connection with her—all because these gurus are not TRULY committed or concerned with having a quality future with a woman, or maybe these gurus are just ignorant as hell, either way not the types of folks you want to trust your future with when it comes to women.
The reality is that you don’t want to be doubling, tripling, or QUADRUPLING the amount of women you date- you want to be finding the RIGHT woman. Quality is the key, not quantity.
And the truth is, there ARE great women out there, and it’s NOT HARD to get these women, but you have to be on the RIGHT “WAVELENGTH” to attract them. The pick up artist stuff and supposed dating guru stuff out there will put you on the OPPOSITE frequency, so that you don’t meet any women, or worse that you meet the wrong women.
So what SHOULD a guy do to attract a great woman and make sure she doesn’t cheat on him?
Well, for one thing, don’t give her a REASON to feel you are sketchy shady or untrustworthy.
AND of course, CHOOSE wisely, perhaps the woman at the club who is drunk is not the right woman.
The other thing to learn so that you can make sure a woman stays faithful is to learn how to control your emotions so that you don’t fall prey to the horrific actions we do when feeling insecure or threatened.
So, for example, let’s say you are feeling jealousy, or let’s say you are feeling anxiety, and this feeling is making you want to either NOT approach a woman, or if it’s a woman you already know, the feeling is making you want to accuse her of something that you don’t really have evidence for.
Well, the SOLUTION is to learn to WEAKEN and OVERCOME the negative emotion.
The first thing MOST guys do when feeling a negative emotion is they ACT on it. This is because emotions FEEL like they are PROOF of something. We feel something, and then we tend to think that FEELING is a PROOF of something.
But it’s NOT.
The way to get OVER an emotion is to FOCUS on the actual fact that it is NOTHING but a SENSATION generated in YOUR body.
It’s does not necessarily reflect ANYTHING about the world outside of you, including the woman in front of you.
So, when feeling for example the emotion of anxiety, the first thing to do is to CHANGE the LABEL, the actual WORD from your mind. By calling something “anxiety” we give it a specific MEANING, i.e. “there’s something genuine to feel anxious about”.
Instead, focus on the actual SENSATION and describe THAT- and this description will replace the word “anxiety”.
So, for example, you might say that what you are FEELING is “heart beating faster”, and “muscles contracting in stomach”, and a feeling of HEAT in your chest, etc, etc, etc.
And the COOLEST thing about all this is that it’s actually FAR MORE ACCURATE than saying I feel “anxiety about women” or “jealousy” or whatever, because the reality is that you DON’T feel those things, those things are OPTIONAL labels that you associated with these physical sensations over TIME.
Over the years, you conditioned yourself to BELIEVE the associations were “real” and “natural” and accurate, but they AREN’T.
Now, once you do this, you will start to see MASSIVE internal change. It will start to open up a whole new reality about women that you never saw before, never believed before.
THIS is the kind of thing that actually ENRICHES your personality and MAKES
you the kind of guy a great woman WANTS, and the type of guy a great woman would NEVER cheat on.
You see, a great woman wants a great guy, simple as that. Like attracts like. This kind of self-development puts you into that elite category of men.
And this is all just super LOW level detail here! In my book you will learn THE INSIDE IN DEPTH scoop on so much more, and that is NOT marketing hype- it’s the damn honest TRUTH. This is the tip of the iceberg here.
I was about to end this newsletter right here, but then something ELSE just came in- the news about the new upcoming US President, and I couldn’t help but see something VERY relevant that all men should learn when it comes to dating.
And by the way, let me make it clear that what I am about to say has NOTHING to do with personal beliefs about politics at all.
It’s just about the power of not hiding under a “mask”, i.e. about unleashing your full identity:
Obama was able to stand out as an INDIVIDUAL. Whether this was of his own design, or the result of brilliant strategists, the fact is he stood out as not only an individual, but also and individual who was not self-conscious.
Yet, he had a lot of things going against him as far as making him a typical candidate. Lack of experience. Not raised in America. Has a non-American parent. His race.
He could have psyched himself out and said, “A president has to be a so and so whose ancestors have been in this country for centuries. You have to have been a famous, high-profile politician for decades. I don’t look like your typical image of US president. I don’t have the life story of your typical US president. Nobody will go for me.”
BUT… the truth is, because HE made this a non-issue with his total self-confidence, it really became a non-issue, even an ASSET in many ways.
The point is that many guys look at themselves and their lives and they immediately DISQUALIFY THEMSELVES saying that they don’t fit the typical bill of a guy who is sought after by women.
It’s YOU who make it an issue, whatever it is (not the right job, right age, right looks, right background, etc.)
Another thing is that he never showed desperation. Even when his back was against the wall when various attacks came out. He stayed calm and put everyone at ease.
When you are feeling pressure, i.e. you want to approach a woman and some guys are watching you or some guy says some remark, or even if you meet some woman who is testing you to see if you are really a guy with integrity or not, you can tense up and fear rejection, or you can just play it off as a non-issue.
Another interesting observation is that McCain and Palin’s appearances on “Saturday Night Live” were self-mocking. When Obama was on, he did NOT agree to mock himself. The JOKE was that he was dressed as Obama for Halloween (wearing an Obama mask). In that skit, it was Bill and Hillary who were the butt of the joke. Obama played it straight and boring and most importantly conveyed a message that he just wants to BE HIMSELF.
In other words, HE didn’t need to wear a MASK, figuratively OR literally, unlike all the guests around him who were all dressed up in outrageous crazy COSTUMES, trying to “fit in” with what was “cool”.
So forget politics, because I hate politics. But as a study of human achievement I have to give it to him that he took self-confidence and self-respect to a whole new level.
It sounds like it should be simple, but in reality it’s NOT. The proof is how RARELY we see it actually happen in real life, in any area, including how rarely men actually GET the kind of QUALITY woman they really want.
And I assure you, the better the woman is, the MORE she is attracted to this true level of internal development, it’s instinctive. This level of attraction is REAL, this is not marketing nonsense and silly games promoted by the “how to SCORE with women” types.
The FANTASTIC NEWS though is that you can LEARN how to truly develop yourself on a deep level so that you can easily GET the kind of quality woman you want.
It’s all up to you!
Cheers,
Bobby
